Neighborliness
By Mary Granfield
Letters from one neighbor couple to another gradually uncloak a simmering wrath.
May 8, 2025
Dear Patty and Chase,
Now that the weather has warmed up, we’ve been spending more time outside, weeding in the garden and so on. We’re always happy to see your Carolina silverbell blooming so gracefully! Yesterday, as we admired your stunning azaleas, Thad and I couldn’t help but notice the debris pile stacked on top of the stone wall dividing our properties. It appears to be tipping over, much like a triple scoop ice cream cone, into our yard. We’d be grateful if you could, when you get the chance, kindly move that pile to another part of your property. Meanwhile, we can’t wait to see your peonies in bloom. Happy Spring, Melanie and Thad.
October 29, 2025
Dear Patty and Chase,
Forgive the cliché, but time really flies, doesn’t it? We were just settling into those crisp September days when, suddenly, Halloween is around the corner! It’s always sad when that green curtain of leaves that provides a lovely privacy screen for both our homes disappears, revealing just bare, spiky branches. Which brings us back to our request, that, given your busy lives, must have fallen off your “to-do” list. That debris pile on our shared stone wall (and spilling into our yard) seems to be growing, which says to us that you need more room for it. So, it would be fantastic if you’d relocate it back into your own yard and preferably far from the property line. We’d greatly appreciate it. Warm regards, Melanie and Thad
PS. We hope you’ve got plenty of supplies on hand for this Sunday. Last year, after those crazy hordes of trick or treaters, we ran out of candy before 7 pm. Can you believe it? We had to turn out the lights and hide inside our own house!
November 18, 2025
Dear Patty and Chase,
In recent days, we’ve watched a mother raccoon followed by her four kits scuttle across our yard, coming from the direction of that trash pile we’ve asked you to move (several times now.) As the weather turns colder, such animals are seeking shelter. Raccoons can be vicious, as you’re no doubt aware, so providing them with housing should be strenuously avoided. We’re guessing you love Gerard as much as we adore Oreo. If our darling dogs could talk, they’d thank you for clearing away a structure that endangers their welfare. We don’t even want to think about what might happen if a rabid raccoon attacks either one of them. Furthermore, that pile poses a fire hazard. Please move it ASAP. –Melanie and Thad
February 22, 2026
Dear Patty and Chase,
To be perfectly honest, we’ve been disappointed and puzzled by your non-response to our requests to relocate your trash pile, which now includes your brown, rotting Christmas tree even though you could have easily put it out for the town’s garbage pickup on January 3 like every other responsible resident. This has us wondering whether you’re still upset about that small tussle over the invasive vines, which we assumed had been amicably resolved over a decade ago. (Twelve years and three months, but who’s counting?) Well, if anyone deserves to hold a grudge about those vines, it’s us, not you! That said, you’ve had plenty of time to move the trash pile, so this is a heads up that if it remains beyond March 4—ten days from now—we will notify the town authorities and ask them to take action. –Melanie and Thad
February 23, 2026
Patty:
Thad doesn’t know about this letter because I’ve had it with YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!! You are the world’s shittiest, most selfish neighbors—how do you even live with yourselves? I can’t believe you’re behaving this way, especially after we spent an absolute fortune planting new trees to replace the ones your murderous vines strangled. How many times do we have to ask you to move that filthy pile of crap off our yard? What the hell is wrong with you? And with your pathetic, limp dick of a husband? Christ almighty, get off your fat asses!!!! –Melanie
April 10, 2026
To the Residents of 113 Sycamore Place:
In response to your letter of March 4 regarding a debris pile you claimed was encroaching upon your property from 48 Briarwood Avenue, Walt Manning (manager of the Department of Public Works) attempted to contact the homeowners at that address. They were exceedingly difficult to reach, hence the delay in responding to your request for action on this matter. Once we did finally achieve a response (with the help of police personnel), we learned that the situation there has been in flux for the past year. To protect their privacy, we can only say that after one of the homeowners fell ill with a degenerative disease, their spouse moved out. Since then, the burden of care has fallen on the couple’s son, an autistic adult who left his group home to care for this parent. He is doing what he can, but his ability to communicate and fulfill household tasks is limited. Any type of yardwork is, for him, out of the question. We are currently in contact with social services to find ways to support him and his ailing parent. Meanwhile, we hope your neighborliness will, in these sad circumstances, prevail.
Sincerely,
The Town of Middlebrook
Author Bio
Mary Granfield's work has appeared in Ploughshares, Post Road, Amsterdam Quarterly, American Writers Review and other publications. She lives in the Boston area.